Quote | Author | Send |
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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My favorite animal is steak.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.
| Fran Lebowitz | 
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