Quote | Author | Send |
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
| Woody Allen | 
|
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
| Woody Allen | 
|
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
| Woody Allen | 
|
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
| Woody Allen | 
|
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
| Woody Allen | 
|
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
| Woody Allen | 
|
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
| Woody Allen | 
|