| Quote | Author | Send |
 A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
| Groucho Marx | 
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. | Groucho Marx |
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. | Groucho Marx |
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From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. | Groucho Marx |
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Go, and never darken my towels again. | Groucho Marx |
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. | Groucho Marx |
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. | Groucho Marx |
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I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt. | Groucho Marx |
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I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER. | Groucho Marx |
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It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. | Groucho Marx |
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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. | Groucho Marx |
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. | Groucho Marx |
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. | Groucho Marx |
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. | Groucho Marx |
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My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. | Groucho Marx |
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