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Results with search term: 'woody allen'

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I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

Woody Allen

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Woody Allen

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

Woody Allen

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Woody Allen

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Woody Allen

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

Woody Allen

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle! I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Woody Allen

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Woody Allen

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Woody Allen

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'

Woody Allen

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Woody Allen

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